It can be challenging to handle a child who clings to you all day or cries every time you leave the room. However, clinginess is a natural and important part of a child’s development. This separation anxiety occurs when a child realizes that you are their primary caregiver and naturally wants to keep you close. While this phase will eventually pass, it’s important to understand why it happens and how to manage it.
When and Why Do Children Become Clingy?
Parents may notice increased clinginess in their infants around six months or between 18 to 20 months of age. During these developmental stages, children are learning to navigate their environment and ensure they have a reliable caregiver, which is a crucial step in forming an attachment. Separation anxiety often begins around nine months of age when a child starts to feel discomfort at being apart from their caregiver. While separation anxiety is a significant aspect of developing attachment, children can also become clingy due to stress, uncertainty, change, or when they are tired or hungry. Naturally, a child will seek comfort from you when they are distressed.
How to Handle a Clingy Child
Managing a clingy child can be challenging, especially when you have many tasks to complete. Here are some strategies to help you cope:
- Keep the Child Close and Use a Carrier: If you have tasks to do and are unsure where to place your child, consider using a baby carrier or wrap instead of leaving them on the floor, in a stroller, or in a high chair. This keeps your hands free while still maintaining close contact with your child.
- Distract the Child: When you need to leave your child with a caregiver or family member, make sure they are well-rested and fed beforehand so they are not waiting for your return. Say goodbye quickly and provide a toy or distraction to help keep their mind off your departure.
- Stay in Sight and Communicate: If your child wants to be with you all day, encourage them to play in a location where you can see and talk to them. They want to feel reassured and visible to you.
- Follow Through on Promises: If you tell your child you will return after a certain period, make sure you keep that promise. This consistency can help reduce their clinginess and build trust.
Understanding and managing clinginess is a crucial part of supporting your child’s emotional and social development. By employing these strategies, you can help your child navigate this phase while also maintaining your own sanity.